It's Gonna Rain
by Mistress Kat
Summary: Himura Kenshin hides behind many masks. The ones he shows to his friends, to his opponents and even to himself. Can Seta Soujiro, show him he doesn't have to hide? SoujiroKenshin


It's Gonna Rain  
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Pairing: Kenshin/Soujiro  
  
Author(s): Mistress Kat  
  
Warnings: Mild yaoi, spoilers. Don't read unless you've seen the Rurouni  
Kenshin OVAs and the Kyoto Arc of Rurouni Kenshin (or read the manga).  
  
Desctription: Kenshin Himura hides behind many masks, reflecting silently upon himself as Hitokiri Battousai, his first love, Yukishiro Tomoe and the kind Kamiya Kaoru. In his own mind, he is drowning in depression, angst,  
and hatred. Can Seta Soujiro, The Tenken, right-hand man of his enemy,  
Shishio, help him remove the masks and show him he's not alone?  
  
Disclaimer: I don't even own the computer I'm typing on right now. Do you *really* think we could own anyone or ANYTHING from Rurouni Kenshin, let  
alone Rurouni Kenshin itself?  
  
Author Note(s): "It's Gonna Rain" was inspired by the song It's Gonna Rain, and some other random things. I wrote this because Soujiro/Kenshin is rare,  
and there should be more of it. Shut up. I have skillz.  
  
Once again, I own nothing. Please read and enjoy. (I am rarely ever this  
well spoken.)  
  
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["Anata. . . remarkably made it rain blood. Rain of blood."]  
  
["Stop! I've found you now, Hitokiri Battousai!!"]  
  
["Hitokiri Battousai. . . You're amazing! The victim isn't even given time to scream!"]  
  
["I'll come right out and ask. . . have you killed? There's nothing pretty about this. It's murder."]  
  
["Hitokiri Battousai. . ."]  
  
["Hitokiri Battousai!"]  
  
["Hitokiri--"]  
  
"Kenshin?"  
  
Kenshin looked up, slightly suprised, to the door way where Kaoru stood. He hadn't even noticed her. He smiled gently, folding the clothing that he had been holding. "Ah, Kaoru-dono. Gomen nasai, I didn't see you there." He paused, seeing the worried look upon her face. "Is something wrong?"  
  
"Kenshin, are you alright? You've been acting odd. I'm worried."  
  
The former Battousai was genuinely touched by her concern. He smiled reassuringly. "Onegai, don't worry about me. I'm fine, de gozaru. I've just had. . . alot of things on my mind. But I'm fine, really."  
  
Kaoru looked unconvinced. "Are you sure?"  
  
"Hai. Please do not worry about me."  
  
Kaoru paused, gazing at him somewhat hesitantly, as if reluctant to let it go. She nodded however and smiled weakly at him before turning and exiting the room. Kenshin's smile faded and he sighed, returning to the laundry. His mind had been elsewhere lately, drifting off into the past of Hitokiri Battousai. He was not suprised that Kaoru was worried. He shook his head, finished the folding and stood, dusting himself off.  
  
Lately, he'd been thinking. About the past, and Tomoe, and things now; even more than usual. He couldn't seem to help himself. Another sigh, he headed to the doorway. A bit of fresh air would do him some good. He hadn't been out of the dojo in a while.  
  
He left the room and then went through the front door and down the steps of the dojo, after telling Kaoru he was going for a short walk and he would return soon. He opened the gates and moved out into the street, closing the gates behind him and he began walking. Where he was going, he hadn't decided. Nor had he decided how long we would be there. He just had to go somewhere, anywhere. Maybe he'd go to the docks. . . It was always so peaceful out there. . .  
  
["You're going to continue killing, then."]  
  
He tensed and stopped walking. There it was again. He pressed his index finger to him temple, closing his eyes tightly as he started walking again. Tomoe was on his mind constantly. He missed her dearly. She had been his first, his one true love. She would never leave him completely. But why now? And why with the memories of Hitokiri Battousai; the memories he had tried to hard to leave behind so that he could finally start over? Was it mere coincidence? Or was his sub-concious trying to tell him something? He didn't know.  
  
He wondered at times. . . wondered how Tomoe had changed him so much. The face he'd shown to everyone else and the face he'd shown to her; completely different. He didn't understand, even now. But he did understand that she had changed him and he would always be grateful to her. She'd broken down the walls that he had kept up so well for so long. He'd killed to change the world, all the while being wrong and she had shown him that when no one else could. She had been his sheath all along, even when neither of them knew it. When she'd set out hating him and he had been unable to hate her and they had ended up loving each other. How ironic.  
  
["It is odd. He killed my first love, and ended up becoming my second."] That was what she had written in her diary.  
  
And then there was Kaoru. The sweet, kind, innocent Kaoru that had allowed him to stay in her dojo; had excepted him for who he was. He was grateful to her too. Kaoru was a good woman. She was strong, intellegent and beautiful. He loved her, in what ways he wasn't yet sure. But he cared for her and would do anything in and out of his power to keep her safe. She deserved it. She deserved that and more. . .  
  
He hadn't been able to protect Tomoe.  
  
It wouldn't be that way with Kaoru.  
  
Kaoru-dono. She hated when he called her that. He could tell by the look on her face; dissapointed. But it was for the best. He would not, could not get close to her. She would only end up like Tomoe and he couldn't bare that. If she were to die. . . If it were to end like it had with Tomoe. . . He could never forgive himself. He would never be able to handle that.  
  
Sometimes, when he looked in the mirror, he could see him there. He could see the Battousai, Hitokiri Battousai. He was always there, the cold, golden eyes hiding behind his own violet ones. He would see them, glowing faintly, cold and hollow. He hated it. He hated being like this, with him, always with him. The memories, the scar; these were enough. He didn't need the actual Battousai always there, waiting to be set free, to shed more blood.  
  
It wouldn't happen, he wouldn't let it. As long as he didn't break his oath to never kill again, he'd be fine. But could he? Could he really with the Battousai so close? Ready and waiting to come out as soon as the battle got fierce? He could. . . He could. . .  
  
"Oro?"  
  
He looked around, suddenly aware that he was on the bridge. He hadn't even realized he'd still been walking. Pausing, he sighed and sat down, staring out over the water. He wore so many masks. . . For Kaoru, Sanosuke, Yahiko, his opponents and to everyone in general. When was the last time he'd really smiled? An actual smile, of happiness, that he'd really meant? He could remember. Had it really been that long ago?  
  
He stood up and walked across the bridge, and off towards the forest. He didn't feel like sitting down just yet. He'd enter the forest, find a good spot, then he'd sit down. And that was just what he did. He found a spot, by a lake, with a cherry blossom tree growing. He sat at the base of the tree as the petals of the flowers fell around him. He caught some and tossed them into the lake. It was calm here. Here, he could just think. . . But he didn't want to think. He wanted to talk to someone. But there was no one to talk to. . . No one who would understand. . .  
  
"Himura-san?"  
  
His head snapped up and there, before him, stood Seta Soujiro. He frowned and his eyes narrowed slightly, fingering the hilt of his sword. Soujiro simply smiled.  
  
"I didn't expect to see you out here. Where are your friends?"  
  
Kenshin didn't look suprised. Soujiro was always cheery like this. Just because he'd given a polite greeting, didn't mean he didn't have any intention of fighting. He did not responded; his eyes narrowed a bit more. Soujiro blinked and then giggled slightly, tilting his head to the side.  
  
"You can relax, Himura-san." The younger boy reassured him. "I'm not going to fight you. I just came out here to relax and you just happened to be here. There's no reason we can't just have quick chat and get along for now, ne?"  
  
Kenshin paused, considering this. Was it really a good idea to trust him? He did not move for a moment, before finally, his fingers drifted from the hild of his sword, to his lap. He relaxed against the base of the tree and Soujiro, still smiling, took a seat next to him. Silence followed.  
  
"So. . ." Soujiro began, attempting to start some sort of conversation.  
  
". . . why are you out here?"  
  
"I told you; I wanted to relax. I always come out here to relax."  
  
"Oh. I didn't realize this was your personal place, de gozaru. Gomen nasai."  
  
"Daijoubu, I don't mind. It's nice to have someone else out here. It gets kind of lonely sitting out here by myself."  
  
Kenshin nodded and silence consumed. He continued toying with the sakura petals. Soujiro spoke again.  
  
"Is everything alright?" Was it his imagination, or was there a hint of worry in the Tenken's voice?  
  
He nodded, not looking at the slightly shorter boy. "Hai." But he could feel Soujiro's gaze boring in to him and knew that he was unconvinced. He sighed. "I've just been thinking a lot, de gozaru. That's all. It's nothing important."  
  
"What have you been thinking about?"  
  
"The past."  
  
"Hitokiri Battousai?"  
  
Kenshin nodded.  
  
"Ah."  
  
Silence. And suddenly, Kenshin realized, it was strangely easy to talk to Soujiro. He felt as if he could tell him anything. He didn't know why. . . Maybe it was because they shared so much in common. Yes, they did share a lot in common. The killing, it began at such an early age. Both doing what they saw as right, believing in what they did to the fullest.  
  
They both wore masks.  
  
Kenshin knew that Soujiro could feel. Deep down, behind that smile, there were emotions. Real ones. Soujiro, like everyone else, was human. But he hid that behind a smile. Like Kenshin hid the Battousai behind a smile. They were alike. . . So alike, and he'd never even noticed. . .  
  
"I've been thinking about Tomoe." It came out before he could stop it and as soon as it did, he felt strangely relieved. He went one. "She. . . she was my first love. The reason I stopped killing. She hated me because I'd killed her fiance and she wanted revenge. . . But somewhere in there. . . at some point we fell in love. And she gave her life to save mine when I didn't deserve it. I killed her by accident, and after taking her life, I swore to never take another. She completed the cross shaped scar on my cheek that her fiance started. If it weren't for her, I'd still be him. I'd still be Battousai." And that was it. He'd told what had been bothering him. It was not all that had been bothering him, but it had been what was bothering him the most. What would Soujiro say? Would he think Kenshin foolish? And if so, why did it matter so much? Why did he care?  
  
There was a pause.  
  
"Have you told your friends this?"  
  
He was suprised by the softness of Soujiro's voice. He shook his head. "Iie."  
  
"So, why are you telling me?"  
  
"I just. . ." He suddenly felt very silly. Embarressed. He'd just told the right-hand man of his arch-enemy something he couldn't tell Kaoru, or Sano, or Yahiko. Exposed to him his inner conflict. "I. . . just felt that I could tell you, de gozaru."  
  
Another pause. Kenshin grabbed a handful of sakura petals and prepared to throw them into the water, but something stopped his hand. He looked up to see Soujiro holding his wrist. He blinked and Soujiro brought the former Battousai's hand to his nose, breathing in. Kenshin let out a faint 'oro'. Soujiro looked up at him and smiled.  
  
"The cherry blossoms," he explained. "They smell good. They always do." And he pushed Kenshin's hand gently under his nose, urging him to smell.  
  
Kenshin did so and then blinked. They did smell good. And they were pretty too. A bit squished in his hand and wet from the sweat, but the smell was still strong, as if some sort of sign that no matter what happened, they'd still be there, scent as strong as ever, never giving up, always having hope. And perhaps. . . that was what Soujiro was trying to show him. He looked to the other male who smiled up at him. And he then realized; Soujiro *was* like him. Soujiro. . . Soujiro could understand.  
  
"You have many people who care about you, Himura-san." He said softly, still holding the other man's wrist gingerly. "All of whom want you to be happy. If you can tell me these things, you can tell them. You're a very likable man, Himura-san. People, especially your friends, trust you. You're like the cherry blossoms. It's hard not to like you. Telling them these things won't make them think any less of you or pity you, if you really don't want them to. Please don't think any less of yourself, Himura-san. I don't understand you and I probably never will. Your ways confuse me. But I do know one thing. You are who you want to be and if you don't want to be Hitokiri Battousai, then, well, you're not. Don't forget that."  
  
Kenshin was shocked. And his face obviously showed it because Soujiro giggled. He shook himself out of his shock and smiled. A real smile. His first one in a while. "Soujiro. . ." His arm relaxed in Soujiro's hold. "Arigatou."  
  
Soujiro smiled. "You're welcome, Himura-san." And, before he even realized it, Soujiro's lips were against his in a chaste kiss. He pulled back, not giving Kenshin a chance to respond and stood, smiling down at the once again shocked, now scarlet-cheeked man. "Well, we'd better get going." And he turned.  
  
Kenshin blinked. "Oro? We?"  
  
Soujiro turned and smiled at the red-head. "Hai. Of course, Himura-san. I was hoping you'd come to a resturant with me before I returned to Shishio- san and you to your friends. Unless you'd rather stay out here which I really don't recommend."  
  
Kenshin was on his feet by now, cheeks returning to their normal color, approaching Soujiro. "I don't understand. . ." He murmured. "Why?" He wasn't just talking about leaving the forest. There was more to the 'why'. It was obvious.  
  
"Because. . ." Soujiro looked up at the sky and then back at Kenshin and, once again to Kenshin's complete suprised, slipped his hand into Kenshin's lacing his fingers with the other man's. Kenshin, after a moment of obvious suprise, slowly smiled that real smile again and let him. Soujiro smiled back and looked up at the sky again. Kenshin did the same.  
  
Only then did the realize that the sky was turning grey from dark clouds. He hadn't even noticed. He looked back at Soujiro who squeezed his hand slightly and finally finished what he had started to say:  
  
"It's gonna rain."  
  
~Fin~  
  
Author Note(s): I have no idea when this takes place. The Kyoto Arc is  
still in progress; Soujiro has not yet become a rurouni. In fact, they haven't even had their second fight. But, yeah, I dunno. I finished this at 11:42 at night, without anything to keep me awake and I stayed up all of last night. So I haven't slept for two days. Fuck you if you see typos and  
want to complain. Be impressed I even managed to finish this.  
  
But I AM sorry if they're OOC. This is my first RK fic. And even if it is crappy, I'm proud because I at least finished it. Soujiro/Kenshin is good.  
There should be more of it. Please review! 


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